Where is happiness?
What makes you happy? Does your happiness come from receiving or giving? From Both? Maybe it’s the small things in life; like going on a hike with the people who love you, going for coffee with your bestie, having your mornings free from work, or reading a book.
Where is your happiness? Can we say that it lies outside of us or within us? Who’s to decide where it lies? If it Lies somewhere else or with someone else else, then our happiness is dependent on that. How does knowing that make you feel?
When a disaster comes our way and takes away what we had will we never find happiness again? To what extent is your happiness determined by conditions around you, by material things or by other people?
Well, let’s first get into what does it mean to be happy?
Should you be pursuing happiness? Is happiness a result of things you have? Or is it that you have happiness within you already?
Happiness is a natural emotion that exists in being content to having an intense joy in living. It’s a state of well-being that is characterized by relative permanence.
Therefore, it differs from mere pleasure, which may come about simply through chance, contact and stimulation.
It’s important to remember that no emotion is permanent. Depending on what you’re feeling right now, and to what antecedent you’re attributing that emotion, It’s safe to say that staying happy then you’ll have too add wood to the fire. It is normal to feel all the feels, to go through an emotional roller coaster when you’re distressed. To feel sad then we can be happy and vice versa.
Being Happy then is a positive action and so the result of the action taken.
Whether you believe in the other Golden Rule or not it can be felt by humanity “that there is more happiness in giving then there is in receiving”.
It has been observed that happiness is a great paradox. Though when we think of the word “happiness” we think of pleasant conditions. However, happiness can actually live under any conditions, can grow in any soil, and defy any environment. Happiness is not so much what we have as what we are.
That is the reason why many who live in luxury are not particularly happy, while some who have relatively little and whose lives are rather simple find happiness.
Yet they find reason for happiness in life.
We can easily conclude when everything is going south that we can’t be happy, we may panic and believe the lies told to us or that we tell ourselves that we need to find it elsewhere.
We see others and assume they’re happy by what they post, We hear our friends are doing great and you assume there’s something wrong with you, we chase after things, people who don’t respect us and we get lost chasing it, when instead it has been in you all along.
We pursue the things we think will make us happy, but in the process, we often find ourselves too busy or exhausted to experience or appreciate joy.
We think I’ll be happy when I move out, when I start dating the right person, when i get a better job, when I get a divorce, when I get married, when I have kids. Then you have kids and say I’ll be happy when I get another raise and it becomes never ending…
You get the car you wanted, the car gets old, they come out with a better one, now you want the new one and you you won’t be happy till you have the new one.
Can we be happy with what we have?
btw**It makes me happy to talk about happiness
That’s not to say those things won’t make you happy, they can indeed bring us a sense of happiness. Is it lasting happiness? Well that depends on you and to continue finding happiness in the things that once made you happy in the beginning. It could be remembering the feelings of what made you fall in love, or why you got the car. We may have to find the reasons we have to be happy in content. Regardless, of the situation Happiness is up to you.
Happiness is up to you
I have friend that all she ever wanted was to be in a relationship and have kids and she said that would make her the happiest. I have several friends that said that actually…. That’s great! for them…. That would make me happy too but I didn’t consider that to make me overall the happiest nor the only thing that would make me happy in my perspective. Nevertheless, it’s not about me and I am happy if they are and that’s what makes them happy.
Happiness can be different for us all because of how we are raised, where we come from our many varied backgrounds in life, different pats of the world, and the stories continue. Therefore, judging someone’s choice of happiness can happen. However, that doesn’t contribute to anyone’s happiness! We may have different point of view as to what happiness can be for all of us individually. So what can we agree on and what is true happiness?
We have noted that happiness is not principally a life of possessing, but of being and enjoying. It often requires that we adjust our sights so that we are satisfied with what we have,
Happiness is not something that we should primarily pursue. It is fickle, we can instantly feel sad, anger, unhappy. It does not come by our making it an end in itself, but it is a by-product as we how we choose to live. It is a fruit of love and of service.
Happiness has been likened to a butterfly. If we enthusiastically run after it, trying to catch it, it will always elude us. When we put it out of minds and peacefully carry on according to do good, that “butterfly” will come and settle on our shoulder.
So what can lead to our lasting happiness if we don’t feel happy at the moment or we have lost sight of of it?
Recipe: Appreciating What We Already Have
We can be thankful about what bring us some happiness if we would only take the time to reflect on them. With the right viewpoint, many of the simple things of life can give us added happiness. If we would ‘count our blessings,’ we would appreciate them more and be happier. The mundane things may seem well… mundane. We are use to those things so we count them as blessings, when in reality it’s the little things in life that can bring Joy and in return makes us happy!
Although it’s not in the pursuit of something to have happiness. It does require “activity”. Activity in the mind. We are more content with life if we have something meaningful to do. Work is actually a blessing for us. Our marriage can be meaningful, our family, the people who look out for us and so on… What if you looked at what’s in your life now, take a moment and what would life be like if they were not there? You don’t necessarily know that in another reality you would be happier, if you can’t be happy with where you are at now.
We cannot truly be happy without the friendship, affection, warmth and understanding—yes, the love—that comes from people. What really matters is our showing love, a vital ingredient needed for happiness.“Love: The Most Important Ingredient in Happiness,” declared a headline in Psychology Today. And it reported this comment by psychologist Robert M. Gordon:
“Love is by far the most important resource in people’s lives. It plays the biggest role in forming values that guide life choices and lifestyles. Someone who experiences a shortage of love in childhood is unhappy then, and also develops values that perpetuate the unhappiness in later life.”
What others do affects our happiness. And what we do affects the happiness of others. We simply cannot escape the fact that our happiness is intertwined with the lives of many other people, our families, our friends and others.
Golden Rule: “All things, therefore, that you want men to do to you, you also must likewise do to them”. Make others happy and you will find happiness.
If you’re happy with what you already have then happiness is no longer a pursuit but a state of mind and therefore you will be happy with what comes your way. When you focus your attention on what’s in front you find reason why it brings you happiness and not why you lack happiness. Feed your fire.
Happiness is not so much what we have as what we are
Shantal
Publisher